We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
