You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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