OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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