Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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