I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
