dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i used baking grease as lip gloss
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
