Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
