She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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