Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
