OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
