sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
