I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
