Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
