i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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