Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
