Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He passed out mid-signature
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
