I wannas sexs uuuuu
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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