cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
