I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
