omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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