so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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