My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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