everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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