I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
