ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
