Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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