it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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