im drinking this country out of the recession.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
