just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize