I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
