So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just puked most of my soul out..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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