Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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