O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
