Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
