I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
