based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My ass is underappreciated
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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