I feel like abortions should bother me more
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
