just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
