I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
