Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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