Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
