And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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