The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
