That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
