it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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