sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
