I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
