Nicole vs. Life
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Randomize
