Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
