DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
