Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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