The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize