How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
