Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
