so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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