So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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