i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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