I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize