I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
