You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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