I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
