The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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