Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
