I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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