take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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